In These Three Years
by Frayedheartstrings
Summary: Beast Boy goes home to fight in a war that isn't his. The story picks up three years after he leaves. The story perspective switches between Raven and Beast Boy.
1. Farewell

The transmission had come early that morning in a strange looking pod while she was meditating on the roof of the Titan Tower. Raven had given it to Robin immediately because Robin was the boss and hated it when his authority was undermined. It was just a pod and she had felt no emotion towards it at the time.

She didn't care until the message in that small pod shook the foundation of her world.

On the large screen that was now being ignored by her arguing teammates, were two average looking adults. They were average minus the fact that they were the same shade of green as the youngest of the Teen Titans, Beast Boy. The transmission told the tale of a civil war on a faraway planet and the pleading for the "lost son" to return home to save their people. Near the end of the transmission, there had been explosions and yelling. The two adults had looked into each other's eyes and nodded. Then the pod containing the video launched into space towards earth. The last few seconds of the video captured the two nameless adults morphing into strange creatures and fighting indistinguishable enemies.

They were obviously the same species as her friend. They were in distress and yet Raven could not feel anything for them. They were not the Titan's problem. The Titan's had enough to deal with here on their own planet. The Brotherhood of Evil had been taken down as a collective, but there were fragments of the members causing trouble across the globe. Robin was determined to put each one of them away and was yelling above the others that we needed everyone to be successful. Nobody could leave until peace was restored.

But one of the Titans did not agree with Robin and his logic.

Beast Boy was yelling right back about how this was _his_ responsibility. There were people out there who knew who he really was, what he really was and that they were looking for _him_. Not the Titans, they needed _Beast Boy_.

Raven knew Beast Boy. He was constantly underestimated. This was his time to prove that he was not just the goofy kid with the lame jokes. He _was_ just a goofy kid, but he always showed determination and was always loyal to a good cause. It was also in his nature to be stubborn when he was trying to prove someone wrong.

Raven sighed. She felt like her head was about to split. All of the yelling in combination with suppressing her emotions made her want to hide and find somewhere quiet to think about this dilemma. Instead, she focused on the arguments.

Cyborg and Robin were dead set against Beast Boy leaving. He was too young to go off by his own and the Titans couldn't afford to go with him at this critical stage in the war against the Brotherhood of Evil. If they wanted to end the league permanently, they needed ALL of the help they could get.

Beast Boy and Starfire were on the same side. Beast Boy countered with, "If I'm too young, how would I be able to help with the Brotherhood of Evil anyway?! If I can fight _them_, I can go help whoever needs me out there!" Starfire, as princess of Tamaran, knew what it was like to have loyalties to her people and sided with Beast Boy for this reason.

Robin finally shouted," Alright! It's an even tie," he turned to Raven," and since we can't come to a decision, Raven will be the tie breaker."

Everyone stopped talking to turn to her. Raven looked at Beast Boy, then at Robin and said in her flat monotone voice," As far as I'm concerned, this is Beast Boys choice. He should do what he feels is right."

A moment of silence, then chaos broke it. Beast Boy was cheering with Starfire and Robin was stalking away. Cyborg looked shocked for a moment then accepted what had happened to join in celebrating. Raven stayed back away from them. She was breathing deeply to help her suppress the new emotion that had surfaced.

Regret

She meant what she had said, but she wished she hadn't. Her little world consisted of the four people who were fighting. Robin wouldn't forgive her for not siding with him and now Beast Boy was going to be leaving, possibly forever. That last thought made her chest tighten and made it difficult to breathe. Robin couldn't stay mad at her, but Beast Boy was _leaving_. The one who was always there is just going to be gone, for people he didn't even know or love.

_We're his family,_ she thought, _not them._ Raven processed emotions differently than other people because of the nature of her powers. She still felt them like normal people. They were still there. Instead of truly feeling them, however, she stood away from them like a stranger. She looked at them from a distance. She could see them and recognize them, but she never let those emotions get too close.

But now, there was so much emotion that it was getting crowded in her heart and there was nowhere for her to hide from them, nowhere to stand away from them. Every time she backed away from one, she would bump into another. Raven was becoming overwhelmed and soon her powers would start to act up in accordance. She shut her eyes tightly as if in pain.

As Raven was trying to control herself, she felt a pair of arms wrap around her waist. Every emotion was shocked into submission and she had control again. Her eyes snapped open and she saw Beast Boy in front of her a few inches away. She stepped back out of his arms. He let her go.

He took a deep breath," Raven, I'd just like to say thanks. Robin only ever listens to you and it means a lot to me that you were on my team this time."

He smiled his toothy grin and folded his hands behind his head like he always did. _I'm going to miss him_ she thought with surprise.

Her arms wrapped around him against her will. Before he could react, she whispered," Be safe," and then she used her magic to flee to the solitude of her room.

Now, three years later, Raven woke up with a start. She was shaking from the vividness of her dream. When Beast Boy failed to return a year after he left, the Titans had launched on a deep space expedition and searched for this mystery planet. After six months of looking, the Titans gave up. Beast Boy was lost or dead. At least if he was lost, he might be able to find a way home. If he was dead… Well, everyone had already mourned for him.

Raven never quite got over his loss.

This dream left her shaken to the core and things were flying around the room from her powers reacting to her distress. She tried to calm herself down and got all of her possessions to stop scattering across the room. She got out of bed and put on her cloak. She looked out of her window and realized that it was the middle of the night. Not that it mattered, she needed to fly.

She teleported herself outside and flew into the night. She eventually came to her favorite meditating spot. It wasn't more than an outcropping of rock, but it was hers. She crossed her legs and started chanting _azarath metrion zynthos_. She soon became lost in the simple phrase and found her inner balance.

Not more than a few minutes passed when her extended awareness picked up a large object hurtling towards her. She snappedto attention and prepared to impede the flying object. She raced up to it and surrounded it with her magic. It was large, but manageable. When she tried to pull back on it to slow it down, it broke her magic. Raven's vision went dark for a moment, but she focused on her target again. She was a little more delicate with it and got the thing to slow down enough so that she could steer it towards her little island. She and the object crashed into the sand at the edge of the island.

When she regained her senses, Raven sat up to investigate the thing she felt so compelled to save. It looked like a primitive space ship. There were patches of metal sheets welded onto the shell of another ship that looked vaguely familiar. The front glass looked more like obsidian and she could not see through it. She used her telepathy to find out if there was anything alive in it. She sensed a heartbeat and immediately got to work.

Raven used her magic to break the glass and clear the way. She then climbed in and released the man driving the ancient ship from his harness. Using her magic again, she lifted him out as gently as she could onto the sand. His head was in a wooden helmet with more of the obsidian glass for a face mask.

She used her power to look into his chest for internal bleeding and broken bones, which she found a lot of. _This man's body has been through a lot of trauma _she thought. She set to work healing as much as she could. Four ribs and a punctured lung later, the man was breathing normally. She checked his spinal cord for damage there, but there was none. Finally she cut open his shirt to heal any minor wounds.

There were lacerations all over the man. That much she could tell by the light that the stars gave off. She began to stitch them closed, using her magic as the thread that pulled his muscles together. Finally, with the last reserves of her strength, she closed the last cut that was right over his heart. After a final scan with her magic, Raven decided that he was going to live, if he ever woke up.

She put her hands down on his chest in exhaustion. Her fingers picked out the outline of a thick scar that ran from his collarbone down to the bottom of his ribcage. Raven's brows furrowed in confusion. This was an old wound that had healed badly. She investigated further and found similar scars all over his chest and abdomen. As she was investigating the last of his scars, the moon came out from behind the clouds.

Raven gasped out loud. Not because of the horrifying sight of this man's many scars, but because of the color of the skin.

It was green.


	2. Damaged

…..His skin was green…..

_What_? Raven was in complete shock. That color was not possible. That color had died. That color was lost. That color was _here_! Her mind could not comprehend what her eyes were telling her. Even as her mind was telling her what she saw was impossible, her eyes re-evaluated this man before her. Well-developed muscles covered his chest and stomach. They were not bulky. They were lean but looked accustomed to hard labor and fighting. He looked to be about five inches taller than her now.

_But this cannot be him. This cannot be Beast Boy._ Even as she thought it, even as her logic rejected it, a small voice in some insane corner of Raven's mind told her that it really was him.

She took a steadying breath and regained control. Even if it was him, which it probably wasn't, she becoming overwhelmed wouldn't help him in the least.

She lifted her hands off of his stomach and reached for his helmet. The black glass suddenly looked sinister in the moonlight, as if it were hiding secrets that she was not allowed to know. With her hands placed on both sides of the wooden helmet, she gently pulled it off.

A single tear rolled down her frozen face.

The man was not Beast Boy.

Raven placed the helmet onto the sand next to the unconscious man. Her soul was in a riot, but her mind stayed completely calm. _I knew it wasn't Beast Boy_. Of course it wasn't him; the universe does not work that way. And yet, that small voice said that this man would know Beast Boy. He could tell us what happened.

Raven's hands moved to shake the man awake. She needed to know now. She could not wait for this man to wake up on his own time. As her hand touched his shoulder, the man's eyes snapped wide open. With a feral yell, he grabbed her hand and the collar of her cloak, put his feet on her stomach and threw her over his head away from him. Raven landed with a thump and then he was on top of her with her arms pinned above her head.

"**Whoever you are, you won't take me alive! I've fought too hard and too long to be stopped now! If you so much as move one muscle to call out to your scouts, I'll snap your neck!"**

He was delirious from his wreck. Raven acted quickly. She wrapped her magic around him and pulled him off before he could make good on his threats. She kept him suspended in the air as he shouted to comrades that weren't there. She gasped for air. The man landing on top of her had definitely bruised her ribs.

Raven stood up to try to calm the insane man, "Listen, you are on Earth now. It's just you and me so quit shouting."

At the sound of her voice, his eyes focused on her face and he went eerily quiet. He did not move a muscle and was searching her face for something. Finally he said in a reasonable tone," Please let me down."

Raven complied, but kept herself armed just in case. He gained his footing and reached into his jacket. Raven tensed.

He pulled out a picture, more than one in fact. He sifted through them and showed her one of herself.

"You've changed a bit, but this is you. I've been searching all over for the Titans. Before he was captured, Captain handed these to me and told me to find them or die trying. And now I've found you!" He smiled like a long journey was finally over and a weight was lifted from his shoulders. Then his eyes rolled back into his head and he fell to the ground.

Raven managed to catch him with her magic so that he didn't land too hard. She rushed over and rechecked his vitals, but he was fine. The damage was not physical anymore. She picked up all of the scattered pictures. They were of her and her teammates from three years ago. In her picture she was reading one of her favorite novels while sipping her tea. Whoever took this picture didn't want her to know he took it.

The other pictures were similar. All of the Titans were doing something they always did. Cyborg was under the T-car, Starfire was flying around and laughing and Robin was fighting off training dummies. All of them looked like they were taken without the subject knowing about it.

She put them in a small pocket in her cloak and used her magic to transport the man and herself back to the tower.

There was yelling in the infirmary. Everyone was asking questions that nobody could answer because the only one who could answer them was on the bed in what was decidedly a coma. All of the Titans were there arguing about what should be done.

Raven was not participating in the battle to be heard. She was focused on the man who refused to wake up. Everything she knew, medically speaking, did not wake him up. But she needed him to wake up. She _needed_ to speak to him. _He has to know what happened to Beast Boy_ she thought.

In the three years that he was gone, Raven came to realize how much the team needed Beast Boy. How much _she_ needed him. It wasn't just that their fighting efficiency was lowered because the Titans didn't know how to fight without him. The Titans got over that part quickly enough. But what has never recovered in his absence was their chemistry as a team. Beast Boy always kept everything light, kept everyone from getting too serious. He made sure that there was a positive outlook, even if he joked about how hopeless it was. And… She missed him. Every day she missed his stupid jokes and his tendency to irritate her to death. She missed how he never gave up. And she missed how he always made her feel part of the team, part of the family.

But he was gone now and their only link to him was in a coma.

Her mind went through every logical step to wake him up and was now out of ideas. This man was probably a vegetable now. This frustrated her to no end! There had to be another way!

Then it hit her.

It was insane and extremely dangerous.

But it would work.

"Robin," she said at normal volume. Everyone turned expecting the man to be awake. Robin knew better. The note in her voice was one of promise, not news.

"What are you going to do Raven?"

"Do you remember when I traveled through your mind Robin?" His eyes widened. Of course he knew what she meant. She delved into his memories to help him sort some things out. She was crazy if she was going to try it on this lunatic.

"Raven, you barely made it out of _my_ mind. If you think you're going to try that on him," he pointed at the man on the cot, "I will force you to leave before you get into his childhood."

She remained silent. He knew he really couldn't stop her. It would happen now that the option was on the table. Now it was just a matter of time and the level of safety when she does it.

He sighed and rubbed his forehead, "Alright Raven. Please, please, try to be careful. I can't lose another Titan to this war that isn't even ours."

Raven gave him a nod and a small determined smile. Each one of the Titans in turn gave her a hug, just in case this was the last time they would talk to her. Then they left the room to give her the absolute peace that was necessary for the ritual.

She placed her hands on either side of the man's face and started to chant.

Then the whole world went dark.


	3. Broken Childhood

Sorry guys, I'll try to make the chapters longer now.

…Then the whole world went black…..

On the other side of the black curtain were memories. Dim at first, but they grew brighter with each passing year of the man's life. Learning how to ride a bike with his father was the first of the well-lit memories. Traveling around the world and studying obscure plant types were the focal point of all of the memories that she saw.

But the father was not green, like he should be if they really were a different species. All of the places that frequented in the memories were located on earth. The father was obviously an earth botanist. There was no mother in any of the brighter memories for some reason. In all of the memories, the man whose mind she was in was called Jake.

As Raven traveled through the man's memories, she also shared his emotions, his pain, as if she were actually living it. This is why this particular ritual is so hazardous for Raven. She has to stay in control of her own body, while feeling the uncontrollable emotions of another. Otherwise, her body would start to react to the ones she was experiencing and her powers would most likely rip apart the tower. Also, the longer she was submerged in a particular person's mind, the less likely she was to find her way out of their mind.

And yet, as influenced by his emotions as she was, she still retained the feeling that something was horribly wrong with this picture. The man on the table was as green as Beast Boy and yet it seemed that he started as human as Beast Boy had been. The boy should be transforming and flying around with his green alien father, not looking at rare plant species in the Amazon! They should be on a different planet with civil unrest, not eating in a common place restaurant!

Even as Raven was speculating about all of this new-found information, an interesting memory caught her attention. The boy's father was talking with a young couple who had a little boy who was the same age as Jake. This was odd because as far as Raven could tell, the father was somewhat of a recluse. They were chatting over a breakfast at an outside table in Brazil. Jake was not interested in the conversation, so Raven couldn't focus on it either. She only saw and heard what he did.

Jake was much more interested in the boy across from him. He seemed to be about the same age as Jake, which was unusual for him. Jake did not have any friends other than his father, because of the seclusion of their life. The boy was looking around in interest and smiling quite a bit. That was strange to Jake. His father rarely smiled and when he did it was not in reference to Jake himself. It was always directed to some dainty flowered plant or ancient specimen. Jake caught the mischievous boy's eye and he attempted to smile, but it felt more like a grimace.

The boy laughed at his attempt and pointed to under the table. Then he disappeared. Jake looked at the adults, but they were so involved in their conversation that they did not notice the absence of the other boy. He dodged a few more glances around to make sure nobody was watching, and then ducked under the table as well. The other boy was sitting there waiting for him. He had a straw and some wads of chewed up paper.

"I hate it when my parents talk to other scientists, but when they do I get to do whatever I want," he said with a gleam in his eye. He pulled out another straw and handed it to Jake. He accepted the straw and the beginning of their distant friendship.

They came back from what the boy called "spit balling" and they were laughing like any normal ten year olds would be.

"That was totally awesome! Awesome is an American word used for everything that is the best."

The little boy said awesome in a way that made Raven come out of the memory a bit. She had recognized the way he said it, but she had never met this boy before. And the way he grinned in that toothy way made bells ring, but before she could think any further, she was pulled back into the thick of the memory.

Jake was looking into his father's disapproving face now. He said goodbye to the young couple a little rudely, but if they noticed then they didn't comment on it. They said how nice it was to talk to someone from a different scientific community to refresh their conversation. As they were walking away, Jake looked back and waved at the boy who he had become fast friends with. His father jerked him forward and they left. Jake felt sure that there was sure to be a scolding later, but at that moment, he didn't care. Because now; Jake knew how to smile.

Raven had time to think a little through the next few months of his life. They were all the same as before the meeting with the couple.

She had seen that couple before. She hadn't met them, but she was pretty sure that she had seen a photo of them, but where? It was frustrating her that she couldn't place them. If she wasn't sharing a mind with someone else she would already have her answer!

Another memory pulled her in. Jake was sitting in the backseat of a rental car watching his father go towards a dock with some expensive looking boats in harbor. He had a briefcase, which was odd because his father never carried something so cumbersome. He had told Jake that if something went wrong before he got out of his meeting, that he should find a cab and find the man that they stayed with the night before.

His father left a sweaty mess.

An hour later, his father came back without the briefcase. He was smiling in a way that made shivers go down Jake's spine.

"Father, what happened?"

"Jake, we are on our way to the biggest success in my field of work."

As they drove away without a scratch, the boat set sail.

In the paper the next morning, that same boat was frontline news. Apparently, the engine had ignited some oil that had been left out. Jake knew better. After all,

His father never carried briefcases.

Scientific magazines all over the world described the death of two leading zoologists. They listed their accomplishments before the obituary at the end. They always did. These two had traveled the world together with their ten year old son and found more new species of animal than many teams combined. That same son had contracted a disease and they developed a cure with some odd side effects. The son turned green and began to show some strange symptoms, but before he could be investigated further, he disappeared with a band of vigilante freaks.

They had died in a boating accident.

Jake forced himself to read every single tribute to them once he found out that his own father had killed them. Why his father had killed them, Jake had yet to find out. He had a feeling that it had something to do with the cure that was made from their son getting sick. But what did that have anything to do with botany? Jake was bright, but he still couldn't figure all of it out.

Raven could feel herself losing control of her own emotions. Jake was almost as emotionless as herself, so he was not the problem. Raven knew the story of how Beast Boy had lost his parents. He had told her once late at night when he couldn't sleep. It had been an unexplained boating accident. A simple twist of fate had led him to the Doom Patrol and eventually, to the Teen Titans. But now Raven knew something nobody but Jake and his father knew.

Beast Boy's parents had been murdered.

Instead of trying to push her own emotions down, she became even more submerged into Jake's memories. He kept a calm head about everything after his father had killed Beast Boy's parents. He may have been in shock, or perhaps he knew that his father was on the brink of insanity anyway. Whatever the reason, he was now the anchor for Raven.

That anchor is the reason that the next memory was all that more painful for her. Just as she began to cling to him for support, the darkest memory of his whole life surfaced. It was too late for her to retreat now. She was already too caught up in what he was feeling. She mentally said her apologies to all of her friends that she let down by going down such a dangerous path.

Jake opened his eyes. He couldn't see much because of the large observation light hanging above his head. His arms and legs were bound to one of the tables his father used for dissecting his most delicate specimen. It was large and metal, but Jake had never realized how cold it was as well. Jake tried to recall how he had gotten stuck on the table, but everything was fuzzy around the edges. He pulled harder against his arm restraints, but it was no use. He was bound fast. He could feel something sticking into his arm and when he looked, Jake could see an IV running into his arm. As his eyes trailed up the IV line to the bag that held whatever was being fed into his body, he found his father's face. He was standing by the bed slightly hunched over Jake.

"My son, I see you have finally decided to wake up. That's good, seeing as I will need you to tell me exactly what you feel throughout the procedure," and with those words, he brought out a small syringe with a green liquid in it. He inserted it into the IV and Jake watched the poisonous substance slowly make its way to his veins. It was an eternity before it actually reached his arm.

As soon as it touched his blood stream, it burned like acid all throughout his body. Jake tried to scream, but the pain of it restrained his vocal cords so that all that escaped was a whisper of agony.

"My child, you will become my greatest project. All of these years, I have studied rare plants in the hopes of producing the same results those wretched zoologists did in one sitting. My whole life, dedicated to finding the ultimate potion to make the human race a species to be feared and I became second place to those ZOOLOGISTS." Through tears of pain, Jake could see his father's face become dark and twisted.

"That does not matter anymore, however. They are no longer a threat to my work. I will hand it to them; their innovative use of the DNA from the monkey they were chasing was something I never would have found on my own," at this, his father smiled. "Now I have all of the information I need, but we cannot stay here. If I came out with all of this on earth, I would be arrested instead of praised. I have a client that is willing to send us into space with an armed guard of substantial quantity to take over a planet full of weaker beings."

His father put a hand on Jake's head, "If all goes well my son, and you resurface as the weapon that I need you to be, we will be the most honored family after we take over the planet." With that, his father placed a kiss on Jake's forehead. Then he left the room and didn't look back.

Jake tried to cry out to his father. He tried to call out for salvation, respite from this awful hell. At ten years old, Jake knew agony at its worst. But worse than the pain, was the continuous stab in his heart at his father's betrayal. While Jake lay on the table and burned with acid in his veins, he swore to everything he still held dear that he would stop his father.

And to a ten year old boy, the only thing left to rely on was the friendship of another boy who must have felt the same pain as himself, a boy who was now as alone in the world as he was. Jake swore to that other boy and as he burned he imagined that he and that other boy were fighting Jake's father side by side. They were the perfect team and they conquered all who stood in their way. Hate for his father turned Jake into the weapon that he desired, but the hope that sprang from one afternoon of friendship made sure that one day, the weapon would turn on the wielder.

Raven burned just as deeply as Jake. The last thing that she saw was the picture of the young Beast Boy.


	4. Game Plan

What do you guys think I should do to get more followers? Also, if I need to change the rating, give me a heads up.

…Raven burned just as deeply as Jake…

Jake could feel arms wrap around him. He still hurt everywhere from the last of his father's treatment. He didn't want to be touched. He could hear someone trying to talk to him. He didn't want to speak, or move, or live. Jake could feel every cell changing according to the will of his heartless father. A hand touched his forehead and brushed his hair back. Who was the owner of this kind hand? It certainly wasn't his father…

"…Friend Raven! Please wake up my friend! Oh Raven, please wake up…" said the voice of a woman, but who was Raven.

_Raven… Raven? Raven! That's me, I'm Raven_.

Raven's eyes snapped open and she gasped for air. Immediately she started to cough because of the pain her body was still in. _I'm not in the memory anymore, why do I still feel this way?_

"Oh Raven! You have awoken from your trance! Oh Raven, I thought you would never come back!" Raven knew this voice now. It was Starfire yelling in her very sensitive ear. After her coughing spasm, she was still sensitive and in pain, but Raven could feel it receding with each passing moment. However, she could not stop shaking.

Starfire, still crowing about how "gloriously happy" she was that Raven was alright, lifted her up and placed her on the cot next to the sleeping adult Jake. All of a sudden, lying down on a raised cot wasn't very appealing. It was too much like the table from Jake's nightmarish memories.

All of the Titans were crowded around her cot. Robin looked freaked out like he usually did when things went out of his control. Starfire was smiling from ear to ear because Raven had come out of her very dangerous experiment alive and Cyborg was anxiously checking the machines keeping track of her vitals. Behind them the whole room was destroyed. It didn't even look like the infirmary anymore. It looked like a nuclear bomb had gone off in the room. Even the doors had been blown out.

What was strange was that everything was destroyed, except for everything that was directly around where Raven and Jake had been.

Raven continued to look around and was having trouble remembering anything that had happened in the last few minutes. She knew that she had to tell Robin something. She knew that she had to remember. She started to panic and her heart rate sped up on the monitor. Cyborg started to freak out and Starfire flew around the room trying to stay out of the way. Robin stayed where he was right by her side. He knew Raven almost as well as she knew him.

Before she slipped under Raven grabbed Robin by the collar said, "Robin, it's all a lie. Beast Boy is in trouble. They lied Robin, they're not his family! Beast Boy, he, he…."

Robin took her hands in his and said, "Raven, it's alright. You'll remember better when you wake up. Rest and tell me later."

Raven looked into his serious face and nodded. Her head started to droop and she fell back onto the pillow behind her.

Dawn broke. The sunlight hit Raven in the face. She felt herself drift back onto the bed. _I must have suffered more damage than I thought_, she said to herself. If she had to subconsciously meditate for her to be able to heal… Then she had been pretty bad.

Cyborg would know she was awake due to his new technology he had put in a while ago. Everybody would be in here asking questions in less than five minutes._ Better take this time to organize my thoughts_, she reasoned.

While she was thinking, her eyes drifted to the man on the other cot. The man she had never met and already knew so much about. As she looked him over, his memories came back to her in waves. At least they came back to her. She looked at his face and saw torment etched into his sleeping features. Horror had been his life for so long that he didn't even find peace in sleep. He was the same age as her, and yet he was so much older in spirit. It's true that she hadn't had an easy life. In fact, her father had used her as a weapon too, but he had never transformed her into something she wasn't already. He had never strapped her down and experimented with her like a lab rat. She found respect for the man on the cot.

_I wouldn't want to wake up if I were him either_.

Raven heard voices come from down the hall. She had got her thoughts in order just in time. As they rounded the corner into the room, all of the Titans went quiet. Each of them took to a spot in the destroyed room to listen to what Raven had to say. By the looks on their faces, they were prepared for the worst. As heroes, they were used to tragedy.

With a deep breath, Raven began, "His name is Jake. I didn't get past his tenth year of life, however, I did find out something important. His father recreated the tonic that gave Beast Boy his powers by manipulating Beast Boys parents and then killing them after getting what he wanted. The planet in distress we saw three years was not in civil war. It was being taken over by the people pretending to be Beast Boy's native people. The father needed it for his research. As far as I can tell, he was trying to create a perfect race and he needed to get off of earth to do that. That's all I know so far." There was silence for the span of a minute. It _was_ a lot to process…

"But why did they need our Beast Boy," Starfire asked, "if he was not actually one of theirs?"

"I don't know Starfire, I didn't get that far."

"Oh Raven! We must rescue our friend!"

"Starfire," Robin broke in, "we don't even know where the planet is remember? How are we supposed to rescue him?"

Cyborg joined in, "Hey now, I can build us a better deep space rocket now that we have better resources. We can just pick up where we left off! We know where NOT to find him now, so we just go from where we ended last."

"Oh Cyborg, that is a wonderful idea!" Starfire cheered while flying around the room.

"Raven, do you even know if Beast Boy is still alive?" Robin said this to overpower all other conversation. It did the trick. Cyborg stopped talking about schematics for the rocket and Starfire's feet touched the ground again.

"No. I don't know if Beast Boy is still alive."

All was quiet again. Each one absorbed in their own thoughts about how that would affect their personal commitment to going on a deep space mission.

"Then we should stop talking about this. We can't waste valuable time on a wild goose chase," Robin finished for everyone. Both Cyborg and Starfire hung their heads. They knew going after a ghost was pointless. They would be too late at this point anyway.

The only one who defied Robin now was the very one who had taken their hope away.

Raven.

Robin's words hit Raven. She took herself away from the emotion to look at it. It was definitely anger, but it was also something else. She had only seen that emotion once. She had seen it on the day that Beast Boy had left.

It looked a little like heart break.

"No, Robin, listen. I can figure out where that planet is. And then I can find out if Beast Boy is still alive. Please Robin," the last part slipped out of her mouth before she could stop it. He looked her in the eye and she let him see what she felt. Then she put the emotion away. She put her mask back on.

"Raven, this guy almost made you destroy the whole floor and those were the best memories he had. Do you think it's going to get easier? This guy has obviously been traumatized! Do you really want to run the risk of him destroying you? I don't believe you can be that reckless," he said with challenge in his voice.

Raven didn't have to think about it anymore. She had already decided her path. She chose it before she delved into his memories. Raven knew what she was going to do as soon as she saw that his skin was green and that he knew her old friend.

"Robin, I can find Beast Boy. I'll do it with or without you. Don't pretend that you don't care either. I know that you blame yourself for what happened to him. Please don't let that get in the way of trying one last time."

Robin turned away while she was speaking, but he did not leave. At the end of her speech, he hung his head and crossed his arms. Starfire put her arm on Robin's shoulder and he sighed.

"I can't stop you Raven. At least get some rest before you go back into that lunatic's mind," with that, Robin left. As he did, Cyborg and Starfire started to plan again, but this time in hushed tones so that they didn't set off Robin. Cyborg looked back at Raven with a question on his face. She waved him off and nodded. She knew that he was going to ask if she wanted to come. It was fine if they left, she was still tired from her meld with Jake.

"I'll catch up with you when I feel a little better."

He accepted that and left with Starfire.

Raven was alone again. Well, alone with Jake. She looked at him for the second time that morning. He had a strong jaw line and a nose that looked like it had been broken a few times. His brows were always furrowed, like he was thinking hard, but Raven knew it was from all of the pain he had suffered. His lips were always turned down into a grimace. And yet, Raven found his face beautiful. She knew that he had kept her friend safe and she would always be grateful for that. If he ever woke up, she would thank him profusely.

She thought about that. Why wouldn't he wake up? It didn't make sense. He had dealt with all of this since he was young. Why did his body chose now too stop working? His body was healthy despite all of the scars. Soldiers had a high endurance rate and he was not underfed. Raven couldn't figure it out. She brushed a stray lock of hair out of his face.

As her fingers swept across his forehead, Jake's eyes snapped open and his hand shot up and grabbed her wrist. He pulled her arm across his body so that she had no choice but to flip over the table. He used her momentum to come off of the table and push Raven up against the opposite wall. Raven tensed her magic but before she could do anything, she was released. Raven spun around getting ready to catch him, but Jake was just standing there calmly.

He looked around and sat down on one of the cots. He took a deep breath and said, "Your favorite memory from when you were ten was the time that you came home crying after meditation practice with the monks of Azara. Your mother gathered you up in her arms and kissed the top of your forehead and told you that you were destined to become something great. She told you that everyone thought you were evil because of your father, but that she believed that you could be something wonderful," he paused and looked her right in the eyes, "I feel like a monster every day because of my father. We're in the same club," Jake smiled. "I like what your mother said. That just because your father was evil, didn't mean that you were. I've struggled for years about that. Thank you for letting me into that memory."

Raven was stunned. He was AWAKE. He was _talking_. "How are you awake right now?"

He smiled again, "The medicine that my father gave me was a little different than Beast Boys. He modified it so that I would be stronger than the Beast Boy, so that eventually I could kill him. But because of the extended strength in my body, it's wearing down early. My body can't keep up with my fighting. It started slow at first. Moments when I would black out, or severe vomiting were almost a daily trial. Now it's progressed to comatose periods and sometimes I cough up blood," his smile faded. "This is just one moment of lucidity I'm afraid. It's been nice getting to know you. Be careful as you wander through my memories. Beast Boy said that you would probably do that. I've tried to leave out anything unimportant and unnecessarily dark…" Jake's eyelids started to flutter. Raven rushed to catch him. She put her hands on each side of his face when he was on his bed properly.

"You mentioned Beast Boy, Jake, is he alright?! Is he alive?!" but it was too late. Jake had slipped under again.


End file.
